Beauty and Sex-Appeal are in the Body.

Something I have noticed about how women react to men is that in the last few generations we have been operating on the assumption that men aren’t allowed to fancy you for your looks. No longer is only male love supposed to be disconnected from their natural, biological lust, but now their lust isn’t even supposed to be based on your looks.

A perfect example is fat acceptance girls and chubby chasers. FA girls hate chubby chasers. Why? Because chubby chasers like fat women. Now, in any sane world women would be pleased that there are men who like their looks. But in this world sex appeal is now supposed to be divorced from looks. The chubby chasers should, apparently, find large women attractive, but not because they’re large.

Another example is how if a man tells a woman that he finds her attractive and wants to have sex with her and says both these things too closely together, regardless of her relationship with him she will start to become averse to the idea of sex. Saying she’s attractive? That’s cool. Wanting sex? That’s cool too. Saying you want sex because she’s attractive? No, not allowed.

Men are supposed to apparently lust after women’s personalities.

This never used to be the case. Women always accepted that a part of male sexuality was wholly based on her looks and that we had to live with that and work with that to get the men we wanted.

And I don’t think anyone has stopped knowing this. Women still lose weight or do their hair in hopes that a certain guy will notice them. I think the difference is more subtle.

The past few generations have been raised on two messages that, together, create a false impression in a woman’s mind.

1: Men are mindless animals that are blinded by their desire for you and this makes them usable.

2: Only what’s on the inside counts in terms of love, everything else is impure and unfair.

And the impression they caused? That men’s true love is a pure, asexual thing, but men have a wild libido that they don’t even know about that makes it easy for women to control them.

Which is a ridiculous concept, but it’s a concept I have observed most other women of my generation operating on. They assume that sex can and should be used to get things, that men who want sex based on looks are broken, that men who love you truly will want sex regardless of looks. Which is why they let themselves go in relationships, date “bad boys” who upset them and wind up bemoaning how terrible men are.

But then along comes a man who directly associates her looks with her sex appeal with his love for her. Say, a chubby chaser. He, just by calling himself a chubby chaser, is directly saying “I like the way you look, that makes me attracted to you and this attraction makes you potential relationship material.” Or, turned around: “If I didn’t like the way you looked, I would not be attracted to you and you would therefore not be relationship material.”

Which leaves the girl with a dilemma. If men are, indeed, aware of their own libidos and do, in fact, feel sexual attraction as a part of love, then a woman is not special or unique or lovable just for being herself. She is replaceable. And she thought she had triple leverage in the relationship: her looks, her sex appeal and her love. But it turns out she only has one: her looks.

In past times this was balanced. Women knew that men wanted them to be pretty and women made themselves pretty for their men. Women also knew that there were plenty of other women who were also pretty, so they didn’t rely on looks. Instead, they developed charm, a touch of wit, various homemaking skills and a pleasant disposition. It was a way of adding more to a relationship, to keep a man around and keep him interested.

But in today’s world many women rely entirely on looks, sex and love. Which is why it hurts so much to realize that those three qualities are actually one single quality.

TTFN and Happy Hunting.

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6 thoughts on “Beauty and Sex-Appeal are in the Body.

  1. If men are, indeed, aware of their own libidos and do, in fact, feel sexual attraction as a part of love, then a woman is not special or unique or lovable just for being herself. She is replaceable. And she thought she had triple leverage in the relationship: her looks, her sex appeal and her love. But it turns out she only has one: her looks.

    ding ding ding.

    Women are the gatekeepers of sex, but men are the gatekeepers of relationships. We each have what the other wants. Truly both parts of the relationship are replaceable, but women find it harder to replace good men.

    I’m not sure how you’ll feel about this being a woman, but you seem clear headed and honest so I’ll give it a shot: Men ought to make an effort, these days, to let the woman know she is replaceable. Not outright, not by saying it, but by flirting with other women, being somewhat detached from the relationship, etc., so that the woman – in an effort to not be replaced – will divorce herself from her Pretty Princess Syndrome and start working to become a person of depth that the man truly does need.

    That’s what my wife did. She was initially just a plate I was spinning, but every time she came over we would make love, then she would cook for me, do my laundry, and vacuum. She became an integral, hard to replace aspect of my life. It worked out for her.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think in many relationships it may be required. Women want to be with exceptional men. And by exceptional, I mean the best man she has ever met. So if a man wants to be a woman’s lifelong (or, let’s be honest, even a monthlong) partner, then he needs to be the best.

      The problem: 99.99999999% of men are not the best, neither objectively nor for a particular woman. So they need to appear to be the best IN HER EYES. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder applies so much more to women than men. Her man needs to appear to be the best man around, the best she’s ever met, the one who will be snatched away by her best friend the second she goes to the bathroom.

      And most guys aren’t that. So most women don’t realize they’re any good at all. When a guy is genuinely close to the best or the very best she has ever seen, he can make her perceive him as the best easily. When he is average, he needs to show that other women are into him to get the same effect. When he is in any way below average, he needs to show that this inferiority doesn’t stop other women from wanting to leap into his bed.

      In today’s world, with women having so many different and such broad social circles, with celebrity culture, with hyperinflation of female sexuality and alpha widows aplenty, the average man needs to work much harder to make her see his worth. She thinks she is irreplaceable by default. She thinks the default woman is irreplaceable. So unless her self esteem has been shattered or he is genuinely in the top 5-0.000000000000001%, then he needs to remind her that she’s mortal and must, as his partner, have more value to her than a face and a womb.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. …..divorce herself from her Pretty Princess Syndrome

    Dear Sir Lionseed,

    You hit the hammer right on its nasty head! Enjoyed reading your honestly and comment!

    My spouse and I were at the grocery store last week. I kept telling him how much I appreciated him coming with me, being with me, put my arms around his waist or his broad shoulders…… To me it is always the *small* things you handsome men do that makes me smile. It NEVER fails!! 🙂

    Not all of us think we are pretty, pretty princess syndrome…. At least I never had it, and work hard and daily to prove myself to my family. 🙂

    Like

    • ps.

      Mrs. Wife and Mr. Gamer,

      I saw you sought permission to join my blog recently. I am very sorry, but the blog is used by myself working through an abusive relationship with a family member. I hardly go there unless I feel I need or even want to and don’t wish to air my dirty laundry. I do thank you both for wanting to join.

      Nothing personal towards ya’ll, and so I hope no hard feelings, mkay? 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Excellent post superslaviswife. You stated clearly what it took me years to understand myself. More importantly, the word needs to get out to women. My wife gets this and does a good job with it. Keep up the good work!

    Liked by 1 person

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