5 Places I AWALT challenge.

Because a little introspection goes a long way. I am more often one to point out where women “in general” fall short or to excuse myself where I am the exception. But some accountability needs to be taken regarding my more common traits, after all, I’m a blogger, not a saint, and only human, only female. Here are five examples that are neither exaggerations, nor the be-all-and-end-all of my AWALTing.

1: Mirror mirror…

I am vain. Unbelievably vain. Possibly unnaturally vain. Just because I wear makeup rarely and am happy to get covered in dirt, being the tomboy I am, doesn’t mean I’m not vain. I still look in every shiny surface I can, whenever I have a second. I still untag myself in unflattering photos, to the point where I can hardly find a single picture from when I was fat. I still obsess over my body, checking it again and again for imperfections that have reduced, increased, appeared or disappeared. I believe I am quite high on the attractiveness scale, but enough is never enough and I aim to be perfect.

2: Babies at any cost.

Although I know, on a conscious level, that Jon and I have a plan and we’re sticking to it for practical reasons, I still get impulses and strange thoughts about impregnation, pregnancy and babies. I wouldn’t act on them, but the idea of getting pregnant is a thrill for me and the thought of a broken condom or even forgetting to use one is exciting. When the urge passes, I’m actually grateful that I resisted it, but the drive to breed is very, very strong.

3: Rough is fun.

Sure, sometimes gentleness is nice. And I often enjoy being the giver of roughness as much as the receiver. But I prefer when Jon is a bit aggressive and dominant. It’s much more fun that way. I love watching him lift weights, the smell of his sweat when he’s been working out and seeing how huge his hands are compared to mine. Even on a nonsexual level, these things are pleasant, exciting and relaxing at once.

4: His money or my money?

Just because I am savings-obsessed doesn’t mean I don’t start, in my mind, labeling his resources as “technically mine”. It just manifests differently. I won’t demand that he buy me things, instead I will aim to see him spend as little as possible. I thought I had it worked out at first: I let him buy what he wants for himself and don’t ask him for anything, so that’s about right, yes? Then I realized that I still try and control. I try and stop him from getting me things, to reduce expenses. I insist I don’t want something or need something that he wants to get me, however cheap or useful it would be. It’s taken a bit of effort, but I’m trying to let that side of myself go a little more. It’s his money and it’s up to him to decide whether or not he’s getting me an expensive jar of coffee or some flowers. I don’t make that decision: it’s not my money.

5: Nesting.

Thankfully Jon doesn’t see this as a bad thing, but my nesting drive is immense. Again, like with vanity and resources, just because it manifests differently doesn’t mean it isn’t there. I may still be a tomboy and arrange our favourite films in a display or leave his childhood trinkets on the mantlepiece or TV stand, but I need to make things comfortable, pleasing to the eye and tidy, tidy, tidy. Sometimes it doesn’t bother me as much. But other times the urge to nest hits and all of a sudden everything is wrong and I start stressing about hoovering, mopping, wiping down and sorting everything. Which must get a bit tedious, but I genuinely can’t relax until I’m done.

And those are five ways in which I AWALT, five aspects of me (and not the only five) that are pretty much standard female behaviour and mentality. Behaviour and mentality that many men find tedious and annoying. I’m grateful that Jon either doesn’t mind or enjoys these traits because some of them are quite firmly rooted too!

Extending the challenge to any more RP readers. What are five ways in which you AWALT? Do you work with them, fight them or work around them?

TTFN and Happy Hunting!

Advertisements

11 thoughts on “5 Places I AWALT challenge.

  1. Yes, I share those qualities, too. I call them qualities because in the hands of a good man they really are, they are the beautiful things that make us girls, that make us feminine. Vanity, well pretty time and wanting to look good for a man can be great fun and serves a vital purpose. Babies and nesting, good things too!

    Liked by 2 people

      • I totally own my nature and I rather enjoy it. One problem with the manospherians is that they tend to perceive our nature with a great deal of hatred and resentment that is unmistakable. They claim to be desiring relationships with women, but many of them have a very broken psychology that causes them to hate the object of their desire. Not all of them mind you, but enough of them that it becomes obvious this is a feature, not a bug.

        I prefer men that truly love women just the way we are and women that truly love men, flaws and all. We tend to enjoy each other’s company much more and are happier in general.

        Liked by 1 person

      • To be fair to them, a lot of them have been sold the lie of the “friend with benefits”, the girlfriend who is masculine in every way, except for being pretty and loyal.
        Men adapt culturally to what their culture perceives as feminine. Not as much as women adapt to cultural masculinity, but they do. In a culture where women shave their heads by obligation, this becomes a marker of femininity.
        Modern men have been primed for a wife who is a strange mashup between their BFF, a porn star and a loyal puppy. Why wouldn’t they be angry to find out this woman, the woman society tells them they deserve and need to marry, isn’t real?

        Like

      • “To be fair to them, a lot of them have been sold the lie..”

        Okay, but from a perspective of taking personal responsibility, the world sells us all lies, every single day. We are all responsible for the lies we swallow and to wallow in rage and anger because the world is not the way you want it to be is foolishness.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Agree with Insanity – because we’re not like men doesn’t make us bad, just makes us women. ๐Ÿ˜€ And if you think you’re nuts about nesting NOW…. bwahahahaha. You just wait until you’re about 7 mo gone. You might warn Jon now. Instinct is very strong when you’re preggy, and it’s usually best to go with it. (Jon’s job is to know when it’s *not* best, and sit on you).

    Why should these urges be less respected than the male urges to own, provide for, protect?

    On with the challenge for AWALT:
    1) I take everything personally. If you criticize Barbara’s cooking for being under seasoned, I’m going to obsess about my seasoning for a week. If you say that women in general don’t appreciate the finer things, I’m going to obsess about that.
    2) I don’t like conflict, and will do what I can to get it tamped down immediately. I am not comfortable with anger.
    3) I am sensitive to mood, and mood-setting things, like color and texture. I once bought a coverlet that I couldn’t deal with emotionally… I was so thrilled when the cat trashed it, so I could give it to the dog with a clear conscience.
    4) I have to be everyone’s friend, or on a friendly basis with them.
    5) Definitely vain. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

    • Great answers. ๐Ÿ˜€
      I think I get caught by the taking things personally trap too. :/ Whatever someone says can make me suspicious about myself and my own actions. It usually translates into reading 400 books and articles on the subject.

      Like

  3. 1) yep I’m vain too. Not so much that I obsess over my body or what not but I like to primp and make myself as pretty as I can. (Not on weekdays when I’m home all day with kids)
    2) I can be extremely sensitive and I take every word someone might say and try to figure out if there is some hidden meaning directed toward me. I’m actually much better at this now, but it is always a struggle.
    3) I’m emotional. (And irrational) and a bit fearful. My husband has really helped me in this area.
    4) I want all the babies too and I’ve already had two. My pregnancies are not fun yet I still have this desire for more.
    5) I love cleaning, organizing, nesting and all around nurturing our home and those who enter. It’s something I was never taught but now that I’m happily a housewife, it comes almost naturally.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m surprised and surprised again by how naturally a lot of nurturing tasks come. I also sometimes wonder whether repressing the urge to nurture and nest could cause some amount of emotional harm. When I have to put cleaning or tidying or cooking on hold and Jon picks up the slack, I always feel strange and lazy and need to get back to it as soon as possible.

      Liked by 1 person

Comments Always Appreciated. :)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s