Love is a Limited Resource.

It seems to be assumed by many that because we can feel love infinitely, we can also give love infinitely. In principle, the idea that love (the feeling) is infinite is not all that harmful. But love is not a feeling. Love is a verb, an action. You can claim to love someone even when you do not support it with your actions, and everyone will agree that is not love. Therefore, in reality, love is the act of loving, not the act of feeling love. And the act of loving is a limited resource.

This is evidenced by people who claim to love infinitely.

Parents of many children claim to love every child, but eventually hit a point where their children are suffering the compression of their homes and their days.

Radical vegans claim to love all animals and to wish harm on none, but will cause another human vast amounts of pain for not agreeing with them.

Animal hoarders claim to love every animal they own whilst simultaneously making all of them ill and even killing some of them.

Polygamous people claim to love many sexual and romantic partners “the same”, but will readily reduce their exposure to all their partners to accommodate a new love.

Hippie types claim to love all people, but will distance themselves from people who are violent, the very people who would most benefit from their world view.

Humans simply cannot love infinitely. Our love is a limited resource. Why? Because the ways in which we show love are physically restricted.

Time.

Our time is limited. If we have six hours a day to dedicate to socializing, then every person we add to that list reduces our ability to socialize with the others. There is a reason we value having a few close friends over hundreds of distant ones. It is simply easier to love and be loved by someone you see and talk to for an hour a day than by someone you see and talk to for an hour a month.

Resources.

We show our love also by sharing resources with others. Whether it’s taking someone out for a fancy meal or simply feeding our children the bare basics they need to survive, the more mouths we add to our list to feed, the less we can feed each of them. Whatever you offer someone as a token of love, every person you add breaks it in half.

Energy.

And we also only have so much energy to invest in people. Maybe we do have six hours a day to dedicate to socializing. But that also involves the energy expense of moving to see people, engaging in actions and, for introverts, just putting on our social faces. The more people you deal with, the less energy you have to deal with each of them. So you could theoretically throw a party every night and socialize with a hundred and fifty people per night. But it will drain you.

Quite simply, we have so much to give. And we need to be aware of that. Otherwise we end up in a family of fifty with nothing to eat, or hurting a friend to prove we love an animal, or adopting three cats into a deadly environment, or seeing our partners rarely to keep face with other partners, or pushing away people who need our help to encourage good feels.

Our resources are limited. We cannot love everyone. Instead, we need to allocate some of our love to everyone of value in our lives and prioritize who gets the most of what we have to give. Otherwise we end up with nothing left to give and nobody to give it to.

TTFN and Happy Hunting!

 

For help starting out homemaking, check out The ESSENTIAL Beginner Homemaker’s Guide. For help budgeting all your everday and not-so-everyday essentials, from food to transport to clothes, check out On A Budget: The good homemaker’s guide to economizing.

I accidentally made cheese!

Yeah, apparently you can do that. Was trying to rescue some milk by making white sauce. It hadn’t soured or anything yet, it was just starting to curdle. So I put it on to boil and hoped it would blend out, as it sometimes does.

Well, the curds and the whey split completely. I left it on the side to cool before throwing it away. But then I tasted a curd. It was lovely! Salted them, wrapped them in cheesecloth and strained them until they formed a round ball. Cheese. 😀

In celebration, here is a recipe for some awesome cauliflower and potato cheese which you can top with your own cheese curds.

Ingredients.

  • 300g potato
  • 500g cauliflower
  • 1l milk
  • 150g flour
  • 100g butter
  • 300g cheese
  • 1tbsp worcestershire sauce
  • 1 tbsp soy sauce
  • 1tbsp salt
  • 1tsp smoked paprika
  • 1tsp black pepper

Utensils.

  • chopping board and knife
  • large pot, stirring spoon
  • another large pot
  • small pot, stirring spoon

Recipe.

  1. Split the milk in half. Put each half into one of the large pots and begin to simmer.
  2. Chop the potatoes and place them in the bottom of one put of milk.
  3. Chop the cauliflower and add on top of the potatoes in the milk. Make sure the leaves are at the very top and bits of stem are with the potatoes.
  4. Salt the mix, cover and keep simmering until tender.
  5. In the small pot, melt the butter and slowly mix in the flour.
  6. Chop the cheese.
  7. Add the other half of the milk to the butter mix, the cheese, the paprika, the soy sauce, the pepper and the worcertershire sauce.
  8. Once blended, pour into the cauliflower and potatoes.
  9. Do not overcook! I disintegrated my cauliflower into the cheese last time. 😦 More fondue than cauli cheese. Tasted good though.
  10. Crumble fresh cheese on top and, if you like, bake in the oven for a bit before serving.

And that’s one of the things I served at the last meatfeast. Add more cauliflower and no potatoes for low carb. Use low fat milk and a reduced amount of low fat cheese for low fat. Remove the salt and halve the soy sauce for lower salt. Swap the worcestershire sauce for a drop of vegemite or veg stock, the cheese for mozzarisella and the milk for sweetened almond milk for vegan, lacto-free or paleo. Simples!

What is the weirdest thing to happen in your kitchen?

 

For help starting out homemaking, check out The ESSENTIAL Beginner Homemaker’s Guide. For help budgeting all your everday and not-so-everyday essentials, from food to transport to clothes, check out On A Budget: The good homemaker’s guide to economizing.