5 Things To Give Up When You Feel Like Giving Up.

Some days everything gets on top of us. We’ve all been there. Maybe it’s a looming deadline with no possibility of timely completion. Maybe it’s a confusing point in a book you just can’t wrap your head around. Maybe someone has left their laundry on the stairs one too many times. Maybe you managed to break something you need and can’t readily replace. Or maybe something tiny just happened and it was the straw that broke the poor camel’s back.

Whatever it is, it makes us throw our hands in the air, roll our eyes, tug at our hair and say “That’s it, I give up!”

So, for when these days hit us and hit us hard, here are the five best things to give up when you feel like giving up.

1: Give up bad feelings.

Sometimes it’s easy to let bad feelings get the best of us, especially when we are overwhelmed. But these feelings do nothing to improve our situation. If anything, they make our lives and everyone else’s worse.

For anger: Go and do something physical to burn off the steam. Keep your thoughts in your head and work through them before bringing them up to someone else.

For despair: Go somewhere quiet and practice your breathing. Look for the good things you still have.

For guilt and blame: Ask yourself whether blaming will get you a solution. If not, accept that someone or something caused the problem and let it go. Promise yourself not to bring blame up against yourself or others in the future.

For weariness: Go and have a lie down and a hot drink. Slowly ponder solutions to your problem in a practical way.

2: Give up boredom and routine.

Sometimes we’re just caught on a hamster wheel of daily habits and we just need to get on with things. And then we get thrown off and it feels like we will never catch up.

For those days when your routine is boring you, you are getting slow and failing to meet your schedule or deadlines, call it out. Go for an extra coffee break at work. Crunch your numbers in the morning and do you emails in the afternoon. Go walking at lunch time. Put housework aside and paint for an hour.

Just push your routine aside for a bit and enjoy your day.

3: Give up bad habits.

Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. We start doing things that are directly self-sabotaging and don’t even think twice about them until the inevitable results happen and then, like a smoker struggling to breathe after a flight of stairs, we wonder why we picked up the habit to begin with.

If we are routinely running late for deadlines, perhaps we ought to reconsider our procrastination habits or accepting so much work. If we are often breaking glasses and plates, perhaps we ought to get some pretty plastic dinnerware. If we keep making ourselves ill with overwork, perhaps we ought to consider the work-illness ratio of effectiveness and take it easy once in a while.

Try and live for maximum health and mental wellbeing. Don’t let anything get in the way of that, however “important” it seems to stay busy.

4: Give up perfection.

Sometimes we get in the way of a perfectly good day by looking at five minutes of it and declaring “that wasn’t good enough”. How many times has a morning went really well only for you to break your favourite mug and declare the day ruined? If you’re anything like me… too many times. Why does that one moment have to define our days?

If something genuinely serious happens, then sure, our day is ruined. But a small issue like breaking a mug has not made our morning any less pleasant and has not set the tone for the rest of the day. Make a commitment to being happy, no matter what happens, and to letting the little things slide. When you do this your life will have a massive reduction in drama and frustration.

5: Give up fretting.

It’s a bit of a cop-out to tell a stressed person to stop being stressed. But it’s easier to stop fretting than to stop stressing, and if you leave frets behind, the stress will soon follow.

Sometimes we just let things get the better of us. This is sort of the other side to the coin of perfectionism. When you know that getting one thing “wrong” can ruin your day, you worry about making sure everything is perfect. Which means we end up stressing about problems that haven’t even happened.

When you feel like giving up, ask yourself if the day is salvageable or whether the whole world has truly ground to a halt. Generally, you will find something to enjoy from the day and something to look forward to. Push the worries out of your thoughts, tell yourself off for thinking about them and focus on actual solutions.

I guarantee you, it will feel better.

TTFN and Happy Hunting!

How do you deal with it when you feel like the whole day/week/year/world is ruined?

 

For help starting out homemaking, check out The ESSENTIAL Beginner Homemaker’s Guide. For help budgeting all your everday and not-so-everyday essentials, from food to transport to clothes, check out On A Budget: The good homemaker’s guide to economizing.

How To… temper your temper.

As of late I’ve been a bit grumpy. I know it’s mostly hormonal, but am currently unsure whether it’s a result of changing my usual mood stabilizers (coffee and fish-based omega supplements), a result of trying for a baby or that I am actually pregnant.

But a temper, however random and hormonal, is a vile thing to control. So here is how I have been trying to keep my usual disposition despite everything annoying me for no reason at all.

1: Do not play the blame game.

Whether the anger is justified or unjustified, don’t spend all your time looking for things to blame and problems that are making you angry.

Recognize the sources of your anger. Recognize their validity. But try and surpass them, rather than let them annoy you more.

Example: The dog has trodden mud in the carpet after a walk with your friend. You feel the dog is useless and annoying. You feel your friend could have controlled the dog better, or cleaned up after it.

Solution: Acknowledge that it’s done now and trying to put the blame on someone does not fix the issue, it just creates more bad feelings.

2: Keep your mouth shut.

Whether the anger is justified or unjustified, unless the situation is actively dangerous don’t bring up anger when you’re still angry. Sit it out, work on it in your head and then, when you’re cooled off, see if it’s worth mentioning. More often than not, once the anger has faded back, you will feel it wasn’t worth having an argument about.

Example: You want to shout at your friend for letting the dog into the house.

Solution: Rather than alienate your friend, ask them to help you clean and do not mention that you blame them,

3: Write up a schedule.

Sometimes we get angry because we are just generally stressed and overworked and one little thing out of place can ruin our whole day. Rather than let this happen repeatedly, write a schedule that leaves a bit of room between tasks so that you have time to handle mishaps.

Example: Your friend usually visits on a Wednesday at 12 and lets the dog out in the garden.

Solution: Make sure to be free on Wednesdays from 11.50 to 12.30 so you can clean the dog before it gets inside.

4: Do something creative and relaxing.

Again, sometimes we’re just doing far, far, far too much and need some time to unwind. Humans aren’t meant to just work all day. We need some down time. And what better time for down time than when we are sitting around seething?

Doing something creative calms the stressed part of our brain and is an outlet for anger and sadness.

Example: The carpet looks damaged beyond repair. Now you start thinking about the cost of getting a new one and feel even more stressed.

Solution: Sit down for a bit with a cup of tea and some knitting, a book or some pencils and paper. At first keep the problem out of your mind, but as you relax, slowly let it in and seek a solution.

5: Look for the brightness.

There is a silver lining to every cloud, or so the saying goes. When you are in a bad place it can be hard to see the bright side, especially when it looks like the situation has no upsides at all. But it’s important to consider what the situation could be.

Is there another side effect that has provided an upside? This means there is a silver lining.

Could the situation have been much worse? This means you are doing well compared to what could have been.

Did the situation result from a generally positive thing? This means it is a small price to pay.

Examples:

If you absolutely have to change the carpet, you get to pick a new carpet for your room and reconsider the decor to make it nice. Silver lining.

The carpet was already old and stained, so it doesn’t make any difference, it can stay that way. The scenario is not so bad.

Your friend is a human and humans make mistakes. A stained carpet is a small price to pay for a friend.

And that is how I am managing my annoyance lately. I’m hoping this will pass on its own, or that I will find a way of managing my moods again, seeing as being constantly annoyed isn’t good for your mental health. But at least I am not letting it hurt those close to me or upset my life.

How do you manage irregular moods or anger?

TTFN and Happy Hunting!

 

For help starting out homemaking, check out The ESSENTIAL Beginner Homemaker’s Guide. For help budgeting all your everday and not-so-everyday essentials, from food to transport to clothes, check out On A Budget: The good homemaker’s guide to economizing.