MacDonald’s Sex.

From what I have read and heard, the MacDonald’s Sex epidemic is a fairly novel, increasingly common complaint across the Western world, from young newlyweds to boomer couples and old married folk, from teens to centenarians, from men and women.

What is MacDonald’s Sex? It’s sex that does the job, hits the spot, makes you feel better for a short while… but in the long run leaves you in a slump, bored out of your mind and questioning your life choices.

It’s characterized by…

1: Short sessions. Whoever is finished first wants it over with quickly, more akin to quick masturbation than actual sex.

2: Semi-frequency. It’s actually not a dry well at all. Perhaps not daily or every other day, but definitely once or twice a week.

3: Goal-orientation. The goal is always in mind. Like a burger during a long road trip, you just want it over with so you can focus on other matters.

4: Lack of exploration. Because there isn’t much time nothing is attempted or introduced that could possibly lengthen the session or take your mind off what you need to do later.

5: Lack of variety. And when no exploration happens, the mix won’t exactly have much in it.

6: Distraction. Due to brevity, familiarity and boredom, neither party is exactly in the moment.

It’s basically reducing sex to it’s most basic function, the same way junk food reduces food to appetite->hunger->feeding. There is no thought put into the ingredients. There is no thought put into the greater physical and psychological aspects of sex. There is no desire to fully enjoy the experience. There is no attention paid to the actual act taking place. The couple may as well be rabbits in a field, for all the bonding, socializing and enjoyment they derive from the act.

And it’s actually pretty sad.

However long you’ve been with someone.

However many constraints your faith or morals place on the act.

However rushed or stressed or tired you are.

There’s no reason why at least once a week you can’t make time to feel like a human couple during sex.

It’s in your power to make it a deep, emotional, intense, spiritual moment.

TTFN and Happy Hunting.

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FitFriday XXVI, FatFriday XIII. Lift everything…

…do all the yoga, eat all the food, sleep all day.

Or I wish I could, but I’m settling for more activity and a bit more food.

Part of the reason I’m more active is because I made myself a BORED? chart. For those who don’t know, BORED? charts are an educational tool designed to encourage children to take control of their own entertainment and responsibilities, through suggested activities starting with the letters B, O, R, E, D. And if it works for toddlers, I figured it would help me too!

Here’s my chart:

BORED

The picture being a webcam picture and thus a little blurry, this is my list:

B1: Book writing.    30-60min.

B2: Bake or cook something.

B3: Blog or reblog.   30min.

O1: Organize the room/house.

O2: Open another cafepress.

O3: Outdoor activity.   45-120min.

R1: Revise Maths/German.   60min.

R2: Repair something.

R3: Read a book.   30-60min.

E1: Exercise.   30min.

E2: Emails checked, sorted, answered.

E3: Everything clean in room/house.

D1: Draw something.

D2: Deviantart.   30min.

D3: Dance, burn energy.   30min.

They are also categorized. A star means blogging and networking. A heart means home. A lightening bolt means for when I am restless. A moon means for when I am lethargic.

In other words, if I have nothing to do or am having a hard time focusing on work, then I can consult my list for an activity that fills the time productively, matches my mood and evens me out, ready for work.

Which means that lately I’m spending a lot of time developing forearm-strike moves, doing planks and dancing.

My body is as lean as it gets without the stretchy skin being obvious, so I’m focusing on protein and fresh Spring vegetables, but also having the odd bit of fruit here and there. Broke the no dairy rule a couple of times, but I’m so careful the rest of the time that it hasn’t hit me.

The crushed knuckle is finally healed, but is now slightly shorter than its opposite (it used to be slightly longer) and widened, so there may be structural damage there. Whoops.

In terms of laziness I have been abusing the odd lie-in, meaning I’m pushing the morning tasks into the smallest time possible and having to rush them. I’ll work on getting up earlier from now.

In terms of naughty foods, I have recently made a pudding with bananas, eggs, cream and blueberries that probably hits my dairy and carb targets in a single sitting, but is delicious.

How has your week of food and exercise gone? What would your BORED chart have? If anyone wants, I can write you one of your own and submit a high quality photo or scan so you can print it out and use it. Just ask for the style and mention the most productive things you could be doing and I can put it into easy-to-follow chart form. 🙂

TTFN and Happy Hunting!