Cat People and Dog People.

Cat Person: I just don’t know how you do it, putting up with all that bouncing and walking and noise. Dogs are just so… boistrous.

Dog Person: Now, I don’t think you’re being fair. Dogs can be energetic, but many dogs are also calm, peaceful animals.

CP: But they all still need walks and exercise. Dogs were literally bred to be dragged around doing work. If they aren’t they get badly behaved.

DP: Not all dogs are quite that energetic.

CP: But you DO need to walk your dog, right?

DP: Yes, but the rest of the time she’s very quiet and well behaved. A walk is hardly boistrous.

CP: Look, a dog will never compare to a cat in terms of peacefulness. My cat gets let out in the morning, goes and hunts around a little, then comes home and sleeps.

DP: That’s not less energetic, that’s just an animal that sleeps eighteen hours a day and doesn’t want you in its life. I prefer a creature that wants to have fun with me.

CP: But dogs are just so NEEDY. They just want more, more, more. And they take it personally when you don’t have the time or energy for them.

DP: But that’s what makes them great. They’re there, they’re your buddies, they’re willing to go the extra mile to save you and protect you.

CP: Because it’s in their genes! Dogs care about you because they had to to survive. They’re just mindlessly doing what they were programmed to, or they would have died out. Cats on the other hand are independent, when they save someone it’s actually virtuous.

DP: Virtuous? Most cats are entirely useless. Dogs have been by our sides for thousands of years and have been herders, hunters, searchers, they’re even finding more uses for them, like cancer dogs. What have cats done? Catch rodents.

CP: But humans were just fine without dogs. Sure, they helped, but we would have managed. Without cats all our harvests would have gone to rodents and we would have been overridden by disease.

DP: Without cats we would have trained dogs to catch rats… oh look we did!

CP: But you have to feed and train and exercise that dog. What a waste of time and money! You just got a cat, back in the day, and let it out to hunt for you.

DP: Yeah, and then it would run away because it doesn’t need you and you’d have to get another cat.

CP: Would still cost less than a dog. And what’s wrong with an animal having some independence? You just want something to control and manipulate. I pity whoever you date.

DP: You just want to excuse your lack of empathy and responsibility. I pity your children.

 

Isn’t it daft how we keep trying to persuade each other that cats make a better dog and dogs make a better cat?

TTFN and Happy Hunting!