5 Things To Give Up When You Feel Like Giving Up.

Some days everything gets on top of us. We’ve all been there. Maybe it’s a looming deadline with no possibility of timely completion. Maybe it’s a confusing point in a book you just can’t wrap your head around. Maybe someone has left their laundry on the stairs one too many times. Maybe you managed to break something you need and can’t readily replace. Or maybe something tiny just happened and it was the straw that broke the poor camel’s back.

Whatever it is, it makes us throw our hands in the air, roll our eyes, tug at our hair and say “That’s it, I give up!”

So, for when these days hit us and hit us hard, here are the five best things to give up when you feel like giving up.

1: Give up bad feelings.

Sometimes it’s easy to let bad feelings get the best of us, especially when we are overwhelmed. But these feelings do nothing to improve our situation. If anything, they make our lives and everyone else’s worse.

For anger: Go and do something physical to burn off the steam. Keep your thoughts in your head and work through them before bringing them up to someone else.

For despair: Go somewhere quiet and practice your breathing. Look for the good things you still have.

For guilt and blame: Ask yourself whether blaming will get you a solution. If not, accept that someone or something caused the problem and let it go. Promise yourself not to bring blame up against yourself or others in the future.

For weariness: Go and have a lie down and a hot drink. Slowly ponder solutions to your problem in a practical way.

2: Give up boredom and routine.

Sometimes we’re just caught on a hamster wheel of daily habits and we just need to get on with things. And then we get thrown off and it feels like we will never catch up.

For those days when your routine is boring you, you are getting slow and failing to meet your schedule or deadlines, call it out. Go for an extra coffee break at work. Crunch your numbers in the morning and do you emails in the afternoon. Go walking at lunch time. Put housework aside and paint for an hour.

Just push your routine aside for a bit and enjoy your day.

3: Give up bad habits.

Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. We start doing things that are directly self-sabotaging and don’t even think twice about them until the inevitable results happen and then, like a smoker struggling to breathe after a flight of stairs, we wonder why we picked up the habit to begin with.

If we are routinely running late for deadlines, perhaps we ought to reconsider our procrastination habits or accepting so much work. If we are often breaking glasses and plates, perhaps we ought to get some pretty plastic dinnerware. If we keep making ourselves ill with overwork, perhaps we ought to consider the work-illness ratio of effectiveness and take it easy once in a while.

Try and live for maximum health and mental wellbeing. Don’t let anything get in the way of that, however “important” it seems to stay busy.

4: Give up perfection.

Sometimes we get in the way of a perfectly good day by looking at five minutes of it and declaring “that wasn’t good enough”. How many times has a morning went really well only for you to break your favourite mug and declare the day ruined? If you’re anything like me… too many times. Why does that one moment have to define our days?

If something genuinely serious happens, then sure, our day is ruined. But a small issue like breaking a mug has not made our morning any less pleasant and has not set the tone for the rest of the day. Make a commitment to being happy, no matter what happens, and to letting the little things slide. When you do this your life will have a massive reduction in drama and frustration.

5: Give up fretting.

It’s a bit of a cop-out to tell a stressed person to stop being stressed. But it’s easier to stop fretting than to stop stressing, and if you leave frets behind, the stress will soon follow.

Sometimes we just let things get the better of us. This is sort of the other side to the coin of perfectionism. When you know that getting one thing “wrong” can ruin your day, you worry about making sure everything is perfect. Which means we end up stressing about problems that haven’t even happened.

When you feel like giving up, ask yourself if the day is salvageable or whether the whole world has truly ground to a halt. Generally, you will find something to enjoy from the day and something to look forward to. Push the worries out of your thoughts, tell yourself off for thinking about them and focus on actual solutions.

I guarantee you, it will feel better.

TTFN and Happy Hunting!

How do you deal with it when you feel like the whole day/week/year/world is ruined?

 

For help starting out homemaking, check out The ESSENTIAL Beginner Homemaker’s Guide. For help budgeting all your everday and not-so-everyday essentials, from food to transport to clothes, check out On A Budget: The good homemaker’s guide to economizing.
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5 Ways To Make Your Family Eat Healthy.

However you define it, healthy eating is important to pretty much everyone who seeks self-improvement. Whether you’re trying to lose weight, control disease, gain muscle mass or improve your running speed, you’ll look at your diet.

Inconveniently, in most relationships and most families there is usually someone who is far more invested in healthy eating than the other. Or at least slightly more invested.

Maybe it’s the competitive runner whose girlfriend is a carboholic pizza-junkie. Maybe it’s the mum dieting to lose a few lbs, but her also slightly tubby husband and children will only half-heartedly join in. Maybe it’s the person who does a load of research into processed foods and goes almost cold-turkey, whilst their best friend still eats processed food on a daily basis.

Whatever the situation, the person who is more invested desperately wants the other people to “wake up” and “eat healthier”. The runner knows his girlfriend would be happier to run with him if she was less sluggish. The mum knows her family would benefit from losing a few lbs with her. The person knows their friend is risking their health by eating processed foods every day. And they all think that what they are doing is the bare minimum for health. And they all want to know how to make their loved ones eat healthier.

So, if you find yourself in that camp, follow this simple step by step guide.

1. Accept You Can’t Make Them.

Oh come on, you didn’t really think you could make someone eat healthy, right? At least not in any ethical, humane way.

People will eat what they want to. You have more control over your kids and partner if you shop and cook for them, but if chocolate bars are handed out at school or someone brings cake into work, you can’t stop them having it. They are humans with free will, opportunity and incentive. They will eat chocolate. Let it go.

2. Accept That Everyone Is Different.

Just because you have celiac disease, need to avoid carbs to not get fat or get headaches from aspartame doesn’t mean everyone will.

Sometimes it can be frustrating to not be able to eat a piece of cake when your friend can eat the whole thing and not suffer at all, or even feel better for it.

Likewise, it can be frustrating to think the perfect recovery food is pineapple and find someone whose mouth is burned by it or who hates the taste.

But people are different and your idea of health food needs to account for that.

What is right for you may not be right for all your family.

3. Offer Them Literature.

If you are worried they don’t know enough about food and diet and are making an uninformed decision, then offer them some good sources. Other than yourself. You may be walking encyclopedia on health food, but they need to understand health food first.

Depending on their age, interests and attention span, choose a source they are likely to finish reading, find credible and enjoy. If after reading they have their own counterarguments, then listen and debate with them.

You won’t get anywhere with someone who doesn’t actually understand things like epigenetics or the effects of salt on the human body.

4. Sneak Them Healthy Foods.

Sometimes the issue is that the very idea of healthy food is countercultural. That is, it defies modern culture so much that some people will be averse to it just because it is the opposite of what they like.

If a salad is automatically rejectable because your culture loves burgers, or “real” fried chicken is deep fried in hydrogenated oils, how are you going to compete with tribalism?

The answer: with stealth. If someone doesn’t want a certain food because it’s unfamiliar or because the name, such as “salad” suggests one thing to them, then be more stealthy.

Serve a warm potato salad with steamed broccoli, aubergine, raw red pepper and tomato, grilled chicken cubes and a light dressing. Just don’t call it salad.

Serve a pasta sauce that’s ten different vegetables blended into the tomato base and lean mince or grass-fed lamb mince.

Chances are they’ll like it anyway.

5. Bond Over Food.

People who like eating healthy often also love food. Many people who aren’t into healthy eating haven’t developed a love for food great enough to break outside of their routine. They enjoy the small selection of foods they actually eat, but nothing more. Many others love food and can’t stand the idea of restricting or eliminating junk foods, however much they enjoy healthy food as well.

Whatever their issue is: get them in the kitchen. Take them out shopping or foraging. Find out the ingredients to their favourite dish. Ask them to help you bake. Have a proper sit-down meal without media involved.

By bonding over the preparation and consumption of food, you’re helping your family to focus on its enjoyability. And if you’re also relaxed about their diet, teaching them about health food and making meals out of healthy, whole ingredients, then the food they are enjoying will be good, healthy food.

What an insidious, horrible way of making people eat their greens.

Aren’t we terrible?

🙂

TTFN and Happy Hunting!

How do you think your diet fares? Are you the health nut in your family? How do you sneak vegetables into your family’s diet?

How To… prepare a “downer” kit.

Everyone gets a little down from time to time. Maybe you had a bad day, maybe you’re hormonal, maybe something serious happened or maybe you’re just born that way. And when you feel like that, there are things you want and need to help you feel better. As someone who lives with these feelings every few weeks and depressive bouts every month or so, I have more of less perfected the art of the “downer” kit. So here is how I make it.

This is part II of my ongoing “housekeeper’s kits” series. For part I, the household first aid kit, click here.

1: The container.

This is more important than it seems. You will need a moderately sized container, about as big as a large makeup bag or tiny backpack.

But it also has to have at least five compartments, if not more, be soft to touch, easy to open and in a soft, engaging colour like a pastel pink, yellow or green, bright white or something metallic. The reason for the compartments is so that it doesn’t need sorting, because the last thing you need is to dig through piles of things you don’t want looking for the one single thing you do want. The reason for the softness and easy-open is because when you are depressed your hormones are everywhere, which can cause crying (blurred vision and headaches) and wobbly hands (not best combined with fiddly clasps or sharp edges). And the reason for the colour is because you want something you can look at without hurting your eyes if you have a headache and that inspires energy and joy when you look at it.

2: Diet.

Far more important than you would guess. When you’re down you obviously crave certain comfort foods, but you also need to boost your micronutrients. Try keeping a balance of healthy snacks (dark chocolate, mixed nuts, Nakd bars, etc), healthy comfort food recipe alternatives (mac and cheese, pizza, meatloaf, spagbol, etc) and supplements known to help with depression (omega 3, vitamin B complex, St John’s Wort, evening primrose oil) in your bag at all times.

3: Exercise.

Keeping active helps you elevate your mood and distract yourself from depression. But fighting the lethargy can be hard. Make sure to keep some light weights and hand grips for armchair exercise and a yoga video to watch, to help encourage you to do five or ten minutes here and there.

4: Soothing.

Sometimes you’re feeling very shaky and just need to calm down. No appetite, no energy, no drive at all. You’re not exactly miserable at this point. You just look it and feel very tired or anxious. For these times, you need a soothing set. Keep at least two CD mixes or mp3 playlists with the most calming and happy songs you can find or tolerate when depressed. Have some sunglasses in case you need to go outside and even a sleep mask for when you’re home. Keep a bath salt mix in case the urge to soak in the tub strikes you, but the idea of mixing one is overwhelming. An inflatable neck pillow and a small hot water bottle may also help relax you.

5: Mood elevation.

For when you’re on your way up and need something to help you along or when you’ve just got out of rock bottom and need some distraction, keep some entertaining, exciting things around. A short book of jokes, a comedy or action film or some more invigorating music will help.

6: Human contact.

When you’re depressed, depending on why you’re down and how you deal with it, at some point you may not want to be alone. Try and keep a phonebook with names, house, work and mobile numbers and good contact hours for everyone who could help you in your time of need. This is very useful if you ever feel alone, panicked or paranoid and aren’t sure who to call.

Also, if these bouts are regular, try and have someone as your designated “depression monitor”, to call when you’re scared of hitting rock bottom or finding it hard to get out of bed. This should be someone who can just be there for you, encourage you and perhaps drive you to a new and interesting place to help kick you out of the smaller slumps.

7: Pamper.

Finally, you want to have things to treat yourself with. Massage oils, makeup, a hair styling set, a manicure set and some of your favourite childhood sweets would all be good for this area. Anything small and hard to get your hands on when you don’t even want to leave the house.

And that is what to put into a kit to fight depression, whether you’re just feeling a little down because of the weather or so bad you can’t face the thought of leaving bed.

What would you put into your “downer” kit?

TTFN and Happy Hunting!